Dare to Engage

Simple leadership musings from the trenches: navigating conflict

The easiest way to navigate conflict or confusion is to name it, put it on the table, state your intention, and work from there. Skip assumptions, colluding with others about how bad it is, blaming the other party for the conflict, trying to figure it out in a bubble, etc. Just step in, look for how you can help things go right, and dance.

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Simple leadership musings from the trenches: what we can control

There’s very little we have control over – so best to “bust a move” where we can create impact and set ourselves up for success, becoming the best “instrument of change” possible. Some of these places include: how we take care of our bodies, the food we eat, the visions we create for ourselves (on our own authentic paths), how we show up in relationships, how we treat people, what we say “yes” to and “no” to that nurtures our spirit, and of course the good ole fashioned basics of saying “Please, thank you, and I care.”  This is truly one of my most favorite points!  It all starts with us, as individuals, stepping up to make the shifts and impact we want - in whatever way “stepping up” means in that moment. (And of course, tying back to earlier posts, the quality of the relationships we have is key to supporting this.  A virtuous cycle:  the better I am as an individual, the better I can come to relationships, the better my relationships, the more supported and better I feel to become even better, etc.)

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Simple leadership musings from the trenches: intended outcomes

There’s no such thing as “no outcomes or results”…We’re always getting an outcome – it may just not be the one we originally wanted. If it’s not the outcome you intended, look back, what do you need to do differently to shift it? Even more importantly, back up…were you clear on what the outcome was in the first place (and did you communicate it?) This does not have to be a huge or complicated undertaking; more often than not it has to do with the beliefs and energy that are going into creating those results. (Remember: what you believe drives what you do, drives what you have – individually and/or as a team.) And of course, gratefully, sometimes, it’s just a simple need for a change in strategy or tactics.

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Simple leadership musings from the trenches: motivation

“Motivating” people is unsustainable, if not completely unrealistic for any period of time, or at any true depth. If the motivation comes from an extrinsic place, ie. “I’m going to motivate you” (oy) or “Please motivate me” (yikes), it won’t stick. It may stick for a bit – enough to get the rush going, but it won’t sustain, and next time around, you’ll need to do it all over again – from the outside in. I’ve begun to think of external motivation like a drug (or maybe like that 5-hour energy drink stuff) – the more one gets, the more one needs, the more often one needs it, and the shorter the rush. One develops a tolerance to it. (Think exercise, healthy eating, smoking cessation, performance improvement for financial incentives, “getting along with someone”, getting organized, etc. They all may work for a bit when pushed/pulled from the outside, but for how long? And how enjoyable will the process be? That’s key.) Of course, sometimes we all need a “kick start” or to “fake it til we make it” and that’s when that external motivation can help us ”get to the other side”, I’m talking long term sustainable joyful internal motivation – no one can take that way from you. 

Solution: Help folks tap into their true core beliefs and purpose and what they truly want, and that will be intrinsic motivation enough. I find that if I have to motivate my clients, or help them motivate their teams, we’re likely looking in the wrong area, we’re missing something. Helping them unfold what’s true and important for them turns into self propelling inspiration, which turns into renewable energy and sustainable fuel for intrinsic motivation – powerful! I’d assert that as leaders, our job is not to motivate people but rather to help them tap into their own intrinsic motivation systems and work and live from there. (Lots of ways to do that – if this interests you, ping me, and if there’s enough interest, I’ll write a future article or lead a call about it.)

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Simple leadership musings from the trenches: energy & impact

We’re having an impact in every moment – what that impact is is totally up to us – it is a choice. “They may not remember what you did, they may not remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” The energy and beliefs that you bring to your life, your relationships, and your organization are showing up as impact in one way or another – intended or unintended. If something’s working – or something’s not – a great place to start is to evaluate the energy you’re bringing and the beliefs you’re holding. No matter how great we are at something, if the energy underneath it, and the way we make others feel, is negative, we’ve lost a big opportunity for creating trust, connection, and sustainable positive impact.

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The quality of our relationships, partnered with our willingness to be real, take risks and be vulnerable, dictates the quality and results of our leadership. Our willingness to be real, take risks and be vulnerable makes us human and relatable. Our care, attention and nuturing of people and relationships makes us worthy of trust and being related to. Creating trust – true trust – in relationships is key. High quality relationships are built on that trust. Leadership is about relationships.

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When people think of health, they tend to think of physical and emotional health. Energy, vitality, healthy eating, exercise, etc. are all very important things and something that I’ve been integrating into my leadership work with execs for years. But there’s also the “organizational health” — the health of the whole organization.

Of course there’s the physical component and benefits – less lost time, injuries, health care costs, etc. but there’s also the mental, spiritual and leadership component. If you look at the DTE Bootist Leadership® Model, and specifically “Tenet Three” of Bootism™ (to receive my latest publication please opt in on the right hand side), which is about “health, vitality and personal nourishment of the leader and organization,” you’ll see that creating a healthy organization means not only that you’re attending to your own health, and your employees’ health, but also to the health of your organization as a whole, its spirit, and relationships. Read more »

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We are in the midst of an exciting, nerve racking and pivotal time right now. I see this in the economy, in business, in leadership, in politics, in families, and in peoples’ senses of purpose and personal values. There’s a lot happening. On one hand I notice a lot of complaining, blaming, making excuses, and fear. And on the other hand, I see a lot of positive and productive percolation, reflection, and action. I notice a lot of dismissing “hype” and inauthenticity, and instead, see people really looking at what matters, what’s real and what’s the bigger purpose – in business and in life. And I feel the buzz. Can you feel it?

I see it as a real opportunity right now. 2010 has been referred to as the year of “making it or breaking it” – meaning it’s the year to DECIDE what will happen for each of us. Do we “give in” and succumb to “more challenging times,” do we get sucked in to “story”, do we blend in, go “beige”? OR do we get into action, ask different questions, work our mindsets and create a new way of “being” in business, a new way of engaging with people, and a new level of energy and success? It’s a decision point year. How and what are you deciding?

Using 3 very different and specific examples of people choosing how to move through their lives and businesses right now, I’ve written an article sharing 3 things to help you explore these questions and your own situation in order to help move your mindset and your organization in the right direction. Read more »

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For someone, with a high value in connection and quality, I only work with a small number of people privately at a time. I do this in order to give my clients the amount of TLC, time and energy I feel good about, to take care of my own psychic and physical energy, and to leave room for the other things I love to do in my life.

I also love working with small groups and teams and speaking to larger groups as I love the energy, connection and learning that takes place in community.

I love to write and design and be creative. I love to spend quality time with family and friends. I love to get my workouts in and have “white space.” And I love to contribute…among many other things that I love to do. Put this all together, continue to add to the list, and before you know it – the cup is full. When my cup gets full, and I start to “feel” it – it’s time for bigger questions. Read more »

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Some of the work I do with clients is hard to “put in a box”/get a handle on/make it really tangible. Afterall, when I work with people, everyone’s different, and it’s not like I can say “here is this gadget I’m going to sell you.” Or “here’s exactly what you’ll have when we’re done with our work.” It’s actually quite the opposite; the client determines the “gadget” and what we have at the end – by getting really clear and then achieving his/her specific outcomes they wish to make in our work together. No one is the same. It’s not an exact science. Just about 100% of the time they get more than they bargained for and find things they didn’t even know they could work on, and that add tremendous value to their lives and leadership. The whole point of the work is to help them become even more effective at being THEM. Finding their truth. Following their path. Increasing their influence (both externally and internally – important!) And leading in a way that is congruent for them. You can’t put that in a box.

Here are 4 things to look at when it comes to creating your outcomes – and the types of things I’ll explore with clients. I invite you to ditch the “box” or trying to figure it out exactly, and just to apply these 4 things to your being, starting now. These, by the way, are some of the core elements of my approach to living and leadership that I’ve come to call “Bootism.”

1. Pay exquisite attention to your energy, and make it work for you. Consider your physical energy, the way you manage your energy, and the way you lead it – what’s the vibe you’re putting out there? Is it positive and compelling? Or are you bringing the house down, and not in a rock star kind of way?
2. Nurture your relationships. They’re priceless and truly what make the world go round. Give your 12 hugs, get (and share) your cupcakes, and make connecting and caring a priority. Acknowledge people for who they are in your life (and know there’s a big difference between an acknowledgement & a compliment), and look for ways to be of service. Need help? Ask for it. Griping? Name it. Own it. Nurture those relationships.
3. Vision and stay on your path. It’s your path, no one else’s. You have to live with it – done right and congruently – you GET to live with it. But you’ve got to create it, and stick with it, and be true to it. Check where you are now, where you want to be, and then decide how you’ll get there. Two things: don’t count on the journey looking exactly as you plan, you’ll be disappointed, frustrated and likely will miss some amazing opportunities – so be open to things looking different, and 2) if a VISION seems to big – break it down into smaller arcs of times and topics. Maybe it’s a vision for your health, maybe it’s a vision for next month’s great team meeting, make it work for you.
4. “Put your boots on”, whatever those boots may be for you – and lead. “Boots” are a mindset (ie. ownership, courage, truth, and congruency.) Leadership is a mindset (ie. pro-activity, helping things go right, love, service), and it all takes action. It comes from different angles (ie. the best forms of leadership are often supporting leadership around you), and it shows up in odd places. So take that vision, or that thing you care about, take that thing you want to create, take that thing that pisses you off (not happy about the economy or your organization’s culture, etc? What are you doing about it?), and lead. And do it in a way that is congruent for you – not how you “think” it should be done, or how “Joe” told you to do it (or even like Joe), but rather in a way that is true to who you are.

With all these moving peices, why would you EVER want to put anything like this work in a box? Really? So get those boots on, decide and take action…use these 4 areas of focus and watch things unfold.  Happy unfolding!

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